


This sucks! - Period!

by series_fan_95



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 5+1 Things, F/M, Friendship, Natasha Romanov Joins SHIELD, Period Cramps, mission
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-12
Updated: 2015-09-13
Packaged: 2018-03-22 11:08:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 6,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3726475
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/series_fan_95/pseuds/series_fan_95
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times Natasha was in terrible pain because of her period + 1 time she wasn't</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Red Room

Natasha got her first period when she was eleven.  At the time she was a young and scared child, doing whatever her red room instructors told her too.    
She was lost. She was a good little soldier, because she knew the alternative. Well, she had heard rumors about it.  
Sometimes she thought she had heard screams but she wasn’t sure which of these were true and which she had only imagined. 

The first night was agonizing.  She thought that she wouldn’t stand the pain. It felt like her organs had failed and when she saw the stains in her bed the blood in her veins froze.   
Of course she knew what was happening.  Her instructors had gathered the girls and told them all they needed to know about what was about to happen to them.   
The told them that it was going to be painful but, just as they had leant to endure other physical pain; they had to get used to it. It wasn’t going to be used as an excuse to miss practice.  
At first she didn’t pay much attention. She had been through three sessions that would help her endure pain and not give information, no matter what.  She didn’t believe that it would be much worse.

Months later, one girl got her period and she was screaming in pain. She was crying and pleading her instructors to do something to help her.  They never heard from her again.   
Natasha was a survivor. She would do anything to survive every obstacle the red room would put in her way; every obstacle life was going to throw at her later.   
If she was strong enough to endure the pain they brought her, she was strong enough not to complain about her period cramps.    
She tossed and turned in her small bed thinking that if other girls had gone through it and hadn’t complained she could too. 

Natasha waited for the pain to pass but it didn’t.  The good thing was that it didn’t grow stronger either.   
Sometimes it would feel like the pain would go away, but that was when it would come back stronger. Natasha slowly started to get used to the intensity and amount of the pain.    
She went to the bathroom silently and washed herself. She came out almost half an hour later and she wasn’t feeling much better.   
It was like all the blood had drown from her body and she desperately needed sleep. But she couldn’t. She had to go to practice.

It felt like that was the longest day in her life. When she was _finally_ done she didn’t even want to take a bath.  
Although at first it felt like a horrible idea, when the warm water ran over her body she felt like she had gone to heaven.   
Quickly, she almost ran to her bed and wrapped her blankets around her.   
It took her a while to sleep and even when she did it was lighter than it usually was since she woke up every now and then from an extra painful cramp. 

The following morning, the blood flow was worse but the pain was almost nonexistent.  She woke up more tired than the previous morning. When she went to practice she reported her condition to her handler. He nodded and let her continue.  She didn’t know if he was pleased with her reaction but she was glad when they let her go to bed two hours earlier. 


	2. 5-Star Hotel

When Natasha turned fifteen, she decided that the black widow would no longer be controlled by the red room.   
She escaped and started working by herself. At first, she laid low, she didn’t purchase anything extravagant and she was working non-stop.   
Moving from place to place helped her be untraceable. 

However, when they days for her period approached, she decided to do something good for herself.   
As soon as she finished her current mission and got her paycheck she headed to Rome. The city was wonderful but she wasn’t there for sightseeing.   
She found a beautiful hotel and checked in as the daughter of a millionaire. She was perfect for the part and she had the money to afford it.   
When they led her to her room she was left speechless. It was almost like a house. There was a hot tub, a private pool, a kitchenette, a living room with home cinema and of course the bedroom.   
Natasha tried not to stare but the room was like it had come straight from heaven. When she was left alone she jumped on the bed and stayed there for the rest of the day.

Her happiness though didn’t last long. She woke up to a familiar pain in the abdomen and this time she cried out in frustration.   
She was relieved that she could do that, that she could express how she was feeling without anyone judging her. Well, at least for a while.   
Ten minutes later she got a call from the reception asking if she was alright. The people from the room next door had heard her screams and had worried.   
Thank god, the person at the other end of the line was a woman so she could understand when Natasha explained the situation to her.   
She said that she was going to send someone to help her.

Not long after the call, Natasha heard a young, female voice calling “room service” at her door.   
Then, a girl, not more than seventeen years old, appeared with a trailer filled with chocolate, tea, coke, water and a plate with two pills.   
Natasha smiled at the girl and tipped her. After she was gone, she ate the chocolate –she hadn’t realized how much she wanted it until she tasted it- and the hot tea calmed her pain momentarily.   
It wasn’t much but it was the best she ever had. She eyed the pills suspiciously and decided to throw them away and pretend that she took them. After a two hour sleep Natasha was feeling much better.   
She got up and took a warm shower. When she got out of the shower and dried herself, she called the reception to require a back rub.   
Twenty minutes later she was laid on her back and she was enjoying a great massage from the hotel specialist.   
She should be calm, given her current situation but she couldn’t help feel tense. She knew that with one simple move she could end up dead or at least paralyzed.   
She had done it a thousand times before on others so why would it be different with the other woman who was rubbing her back?

Thankfully, not only Natasha survived, but after that experience, she made it a tradition to stay at five star hotels and get pampered every month.


	3. SHIELD and a friend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey everyone!  
> I am so sorry if anyone was reading thins and was waiting for a chapter... :/  
> after watching AOU clintasha was hard for me to write  
> I am trying to get things back on track and start writing again  
> thank you so much for your kudos (receiving these was the only reason I continued this) and as always your comments are more than welcomed!  
> love ya all and thank you for our support! <3

Natasha was given a chance to begin again and do something good with her life in SHIELD. She had worked many times with people who SHIELD fought against but she wasn’t going to say a word about this. Not when no one in SHIELD trusted her and not when the man who had vouched was under scrutiny because his morals and his loyalty to his organization were questioned because he chose to save her.

  
She had spent nearly two months in SHIELD facilities and hadn’t seen Clint Barton once! It’s not that she missed his smart-ass comments or arrogant attitude but she owned him for saving her and she wanted to spend time with him and to repay him for the good that he did. Maybe there was a small part of her that wanted to see him because he was the one she trusted most. She had met many people during her stay at SHIELD but she hadn’t seen agent Barton.

  
One person that had caught her eye was agent Hill. She was there to monitor her progress and watching her psych evaluation. After the first two weeks the brunette started to open up and Natasha didn’t know how to explain this. She was asking her how she was doing, she informed her about a new book that she read asked her if she wanted some coffee and she was smiling every time that Natasha did well, looking at her with an affirmative nod.

  
Natasha wasn’t stupid. The agent’s behavior was similar to her behavior when she wanted to seduce a certain type of targets. So she only saw to possible scenarios. Either Maria Hill was lesbian and she liked Natasha, or SHIELD mistook her for a lesbian and they sent Maria to seduce her and extract information. Natasha wasn’t particularly interested in women but she would play along if a mission required it. She never liked the men that she had slept with either but it always came a little bit easier to her. Every night that she went to sleep that situation was going through her head. She had no idea what to do. Agent hill didn’t seem like the kind of person to take a liking in an asset, not to mention an unstable asset. After giving it much thought she decided that the only logical explanation was that agent hill was trying to make her give her information so it wouldn’t be very hard for her to expose her, SHIELD and agent Barton who convinced her to join that organization.

  
Thinking of agent Barton, Natasha’s mind drifted to the night he made her his offer. His grey-blue eyes, so full of hope and sweetness, something that she had never seen before in her life, his big strong arms that caught her a second before she jumped off the bridge. He didn’t know at the time that she didn’t plan on killing herself but she was only testing the cord on her widow’s bites. However, the feeling of being held securely in somebody’s arms was so new to her that it had shocked her to her core. She knew that she was being followed by Hawkeye, SHIELD’s best sniper and although at first she tried as much as she could to avoid him, eventually she saw that he wouldn’t kill her no matter how many chances she seemed to have given him. She would intentionally let herself open so he would take a shot but he never did. When he offered her a place in SHIELD she accepted but she didn’t sign up for red room-like interrogations.

  
When the next morning came, along came and Maria Hill. Natasha was still half asleep when the door opened and the light came in. Maria smiled at her sleepy form and sat on a chair.

  
\- Didn’t sleep well last night? She asked amused

  
\- Had lots in my head. The redhead answered

  
\- Today we will be doing some psychological tests and after lunch we will go to the gun range to test your abilities with multiple weapons. Are you ok with that?

  
Natasha shrugged and tried to hide her face. She didn’t want Maria to see her steeling herself and preparing for what was about to happen. She knew what that meant. She had been through “tests” like these in the red room. She was frightened that she would have to go through that pain again. She was scared but she was not going to show it.

  
\- Natasha? Is everything ok? Maria asked trying to take a look at her face.

  
\- Yes. Let’s go. Natasha’s eyes were cold. She was trying hard not to show any emotion as she walked towards the door. Maria stood up quickly and grabbed her arm. Natasha, mostly out of instinct, turned and threw a punch in the brunette’s head. Maria avoided it by ducking her head.

  
\- Natasha relax! She ordered. What has gotten into you today?

  
Natasha didn’t answer

  
\- Are you tired? Do you want me to cancel your afternoon tests?

  
Again nothing

  
\- Natasha if you don’t tell me I can’t help you! Maria was starting to get angry. Natasha please stop acting like a child! Tell me what is wrong so I can solve it.

  
\- Why do you even care? Don’t you think that I know what you are up to? Natasha lashed out. Maria let go of her arms and sat back on the chair motioning for Natasha to do the same. Natasha hesitantly sat on the chair across from Maria.

  
\- Now, what am I supposedly up to? The brunette asked sarcastically.

  
\- Listen, Natasha started, befriending or seducing someone in order to extract information is as old as spy history. I know what these “psychological tests” truly are so you don’t have to act all caring and happy

  
\- Actually the psychological tests are you filling some forms and talking to dr. Mathews. I scheduled a light programme for you today because I thought that since these are the last tests you are taking before the council decides if you will be accepted as a SHIELD agent. Off the record not many people have been declined with your skills. I don’t think you will be an exception to that. So, I was thinking that maybe we could go see some apartments since you will be living here as you requested to agent Barton when you accepted his offer. If you don’t like to do it we can finish everything today and find an apartment and everything else you will need but if you don’t want me here to help you then ok. I will leave you in peace.

With these words Maria stood up to leave.

  
\- How can I know, Natasha asked standing up as well, how can I know that you are not lying to me?

  
\- You were never treated as a captive Natasha. We have been cautious, yes, but can you really blame us?

  
\- I…. I guess not…

  
\- Ok. Maria replied sternly, what do you want to do?

Natasha thought about what the agent had said. She wasn’t wrong. She had been living relatively well and the tests were tiring but no one had hurt her. Maria was a nice person and Natasha could only imagine how it would feel going shopping with a friend. She understood that she was being paranoid and she prided herself on not being paranoid. At that moment she couldn’t even remember why she was mad and that only meant one thing. When her hormones reacted like this she was close…

  
\- I am sorry… she said, and thank you for all you’ve done. I’ll take the tests.

  
\- Are you sure that you are ok? Maria insisted. We can always reschedule.

  
\- No, I am fine, Natasha reassured her. Maria saw that she was lying and typed something on her phone.

Moments later the reply came

  
\- Let’s go, was all she said

  
A few moments later Natasha was following the agent towards the exit. As it turned out Maria was not easily fooled. She canceled all of Natasha’s tests for that day and she took her to check a couple of apartments and to buy some clothes. Natasha didn’t remember a time that she had laughed so much, really laughed, as Natasha not as someone else who was trying to impress a target. But, although she was grateful for the day off, she couldn’t take her mind to the occasional jab on her lower abdomen, the beginning of her cramps, and the fact that she was getting extremely tired for such a small walk. She what was coming. The rest of the day went smoothly as they ate in the cafeteria and Natasha met with the SHIELD psychiatrist, taking some of the forms at her room to fill them in peace.

  
The next morning the inevitable happened. Natasha woke up wincing in pain and feeling the blood flow on her lower body. She had put on a tab but still it was really painful. She closed her eyes for a second and the next thing she knew Maria was walking in with a smile on her face. That smile faded however when she saw Natasha all sweaty and clearly looking in pain. The assassin was pale but now it seemed that all blood had been drain from her body. She was shivering and trying to hold back tears.  
\- Natasha? What’s wrong? She said rushing to help her. As Maria tried to contact the SHIELD doctors about Natasha’s condition, the redhead stopped her.

  
\- It’s ok. I’m ok Maria. Just… I just… need a moment.

  
\- Natasha, you are not ok. You are sweating and in pain.

  
\- I’m on my period Maria! Natasha snapped

  
\- Ouch…. Was the only thing Maria managed to say trying to contain a smirk

  
\- What’s so funny? Natasha asked

  
\- Well… that kind of explains your outburst yesterday…

  
At first the redhead was feeling offended and angry at what the other agent had said, but then she realized that she was being paranoid again and she couldn’t help the giggle that escaped her mouth. As soon as Maria saw that the spy was not really angry at her she started laughing hard and as if it was contagious, Natasha started laughing as well. When the two women were able to control themselves Maria put her papers at the small desk by the door and turned at Natasha

  
\- I’m gonna bring you a couple of pills to soothe the pain. You will be better in about fifteen minutes and then we will start your training. Alright?

  
\- Yes, that would be great. Thank you! Natasha said.

  
As soon as the brunette was gone Natasha got up from the bed groaning and looked at the files. For the morning she was to go see some psychologists but it was nothing like the red room reports and in the afternoon she was to go to the gun range, again. With her suspicions put to rest for a while she returned to the warmth of her bed. A few minutes later Maria returned with two pills and a glass of water in the hands. Natasha took them and thanked her _friend_ (?) once more. The two women waited for the pills to kick in and for Natasha to start her day.

  
\- So, Natasha tried to sound as casual as possible, am I going to do yesterday’s programme?

  
\- Didn’t you see the files? Maria replied with a smirk

  
\- I did, Natasha didn’t want to lie. Why am I going to the gun range again?

  
\- We would like you to try different weapons in a variety of targets.

  
\- Like a _bow_? Natasha asked and her eyes shined in mischievousness. She needed to find out why was agent Barton avoiding her

  
\- Are you… _interested_ in bows and arrows? Maria shot back

  
\- Not particularly but I do recall a SHIELD member preferring them…

  
\- Do you want to ask something Natasha?

  
\- Is it going to be on record Maria?

  
\- Nothing that we share in this room is

  
\- Is agent Barton avoiding me? Natasha blurred out

  
\- Why do you ask that? Maria asked, her interest peaked

  
\- I have met several SHIELD agents during my stay here and I haven’t seen agent Barton once, not even in the cafeteria. I was wondering that there might be a reason behind this…

  
\- Do you _want_ to see him? Maria asked smiling

  
\- I owe him a dept, I have to… Natasha said lowering her head

  
\- Don’t ever say that to him. He doesn’t see it like that

  
\- And like what does he see it?

  
\- Maybe you don’t want to know…

  
\- I just think that it is weird, him avoiding me. He is the one who brought me here, even if he doesn’t care shouldn’t he at least pretend to for a while?

  
\- He does care, a lot. He just doesn’t open up much to people. He is a good man with demons. Give him a little time. His standards have changed and he needs to adjust.

  
Natasha didn’t answer. She didn’t know if she cared about him but she did want to know him better. There was a weird feeling in her belly whenever she thought of this man that she couldn’t identify. The only thing she knew was that she needed to see him. As the pills took action Natasha felt better and got dressed for her morning.

 

The only difference on her programme was that when she went to the gun range that afternoon agent Barton was there smiling widely and announcing that he was going to be her partner. They trained together under Maria’s eyes and in the end the brunette received a smile and a hushed thank you from the redhead spy. Clint couldn’t understand anything but he was happy that Natasha took so lightly on the partnership thing.

 

After that day started a new custom for Natasha. Whenever she could she would stay in bed with Maria and they would talk and evaluate (never “gossip” just “evaluate”) other agents. This custom though, was cut short since Maria got promoted to deputy director and they didn’t have time for their girl talks so often.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello everybody!  
> i know that i havent been updating lately and i am sorry for everyone who waited for this.   
> i dodnt know if there is anyone still reading this but if you are thank you for your time!  
> kudos are much appreciated and please tell me your opinion in the comments  
> love ya all!!!! <3 <3 <3 
> 
>  
> 
> PS. this chapter is huge! :P

Two years had passed as a SHIELD agent for Natasha and in these two years she had formed a wonderful relationship with her partner, Clint Barton. And by “ _wonderful relationship_ ” she meant that she somewhat trusted him and occasionally called him her friend and he pretended not to notice her distrust outbursts and give her time to get used to this new reality. It was as close as she had ever been with another person just because she wanted to. 

But Clint wasn’t there. He was sent on a mission to Singapore and he was gone for two weeks.  He was texting her and she got the occasional snapchat in case he saw something funny. But that was it. She hadn’t talked to her partner for two weeks and it was driving her crazy.  She had never missed that kind of contact with another person before. But Clint was different. He was patient with her and kind, nothing like the people she was used to.

Furthermore, these days of the month were approaching again.  Although things had gotten better as she was getting older, some periods were still pretty bad. She thought that it was funny how she had learnt to endure huge amounts of pain and not be distracted n the field but she couldn’t handle what nature had given to all women.  She would get mood swings, cravings for crazy food and she was being more violent than she already was.  She decided to hit the gym since workout had two different effects on her. Firstly it would bring her period sooner so she would get rid of it sooner and secondly, it would lessen the cramps. 

As she was walking down the corridor that led to the gym she realised that she had been there only with Clint or Maria, never on her own. Suddenly she felt lonely. She was always alone and she didn’t mind being just with her self.  But this was different. She was lonely and she felt unprotected for the first time in her life. 

The glass doors of the gym slid open and Natasha was hit by the all-to-familiar smell of blood and sweat and her head filled with heavy breathing and groans. Whenever she walked past these doors, she never failed to notice the glares of the other agents. Some feared her, others hated her, others both.  Clint would always be there, distract her, telling her not to pay attention to them and he would guide her to the sparring mats to start their routine.

She decided that running from her problems was the bet option for her so she went to the treadmills. She aimed for the forth in line which was currently available. She was waling and looking at her phone for the right playlist when someone passed by her, knocking her shoulder, and occupying the treadmill.  She decided that the guy that looked at her smugly didn’t deserve a trip to Coulson’s office so she let it slide.  The senior agent was her handler but that didn’t mean he liked her.  He would always act kind in front of everyone else but he would find something to hold against her when they were in private.  “Good job agent Romanoff, you made us proud” he would say at the official debriefing but when they would be alone he would scold her about how she had used more violence than was needed or how she would almost expose the organization when she had done almost nothing wrong.  Clint insisted that Coulson was a perfectionist and he would do that to any agent but now Clint wasn’t there and she was already feeling depressed. 

She made her way to the last treadmill on the row and decided to ignore the other agents.  She was running and running trying to stop the sad thoughts that were flooding her mind despite the upbeat song. 

She was alone

She was in a room full of people, all alone

Everyone hated her

Her handler barely put up with her

And the only person who tolerated her was gone

As if on cue, Clint sent her a snap chat of his hand (how she recognized _his_ hand, she didn’t want to acknowledge) petting a dog. “job has its perks” was all he wrote. Then she noticed a pear of heels at the upper right corner of the picture.  Maybe he wasn’t referring to the dog as “a perk of the job” she tried to smile but the thought of her partner with another woman made her feel sick to her stomach and she didn’t want to think why. 

She felt awful and since running from her problems didn’t help, she thought that some pressure would get her mind off things.  She was making her way to the weights but as she was passing by treadmill number four, she heard the man fake sneeze and call her a slut. That made her stop dead in her tracks while the whole room seemed to have gone silent. She turned her head slowly at him and with all the calmness that she could master, she asked him politely

“Excuse me, did you say something to me?”

“I said what I said” the man replied putting the treadmill on stop and getting off of it.

“Pardon my hearing but could you repeat it?” she said stepping back, giving him space and making him feel like he was in charge

“S-L-U-T” he repeated emphasizing every letter of the word. 

“And is there a reason you are calling me that?”

“Well, everyone here knows how you got into SHIELD” he said gesturing around. Natasha looked at the other agents and everyone turned their heads away. 

“I recall taking tests but maybe I am wrong. Do enlighten me” she said coldly

“Just because that loser that you now have for a partner couldn’t finish his job because of obvious reasons” he said staring at her shirt “If you were assigned on a real man you would be three feet in the ground, where you belong”

Natasha looked around once more. Many people were watching them, both men and women, but no one moved to defend her or hold that arrogant douchebag back.  She had to prove them wrong and she had to do it methodically

“If that’s the case you wouldn’t be scared of a sparring match, would you now?” she said titling her head

He weighed his options for a second, not really eager to go to the sparring mats with her but as he noticed the whole room watching them he realised that he didn’t have a choice.

“Two out of three?” Natasha suggested when they reached the mats. She knew he would ask her that when he lost so she wanted him to deny it first

“Like I’m gonna waste so much time with you”

“Had to ask” Natasha shrugged. Before she finished her sentence he threw a punch at her.  She ducked and easily avoider him. She could swing her legs and throw him off guard but she didn’t. She wanted to give him time and make his defeat sweeter.  As she got back up and he regained his balance. Then he threw himself at her trying to knock her down. She avoided his attack and kicked him on the back, causing him to fall down.  Before he had a chance to get back up she lanced onto him and put her thighs around his neck stopping his breathing. As he was gasping for air he tapped the mat three times and she released him. 

“Is there anyone else who shared his opinion?” she asked towards the crowd that was watching them. Everyone was silent and slowly they stared to get back to their workouts. Natasha thought that this was the last of it and released a breath she didn’t know she was holding.  That was when the man kicked her legs while he was still on the ground, causing her to fall on her side. Reflexively she got back up and in a second she was on top of him pinning him on the mats and chocking him with her hands this time.  He tried to tap the mats but she was having none of it. she tightened her grip on his neck with one hand and with the other she started punching him mercilessly.

Suddenly something snapped her out of her frenzy and she looked down at her hands and the man who was bloody and barely breathing. The other agents looked at her with horror as she abandoned the bleeding man in the mats and left as quickly as possible. She took her stuff from her locker and ran to Coulson's office.  She needed to get there before anyone else told him about the incident.  She was sure that everyone would defend the other agent.  Her handler included. 

“I need two days off” she said as she got in his office, without even knocking

“Hello to you too Natasha, no, you are not interrupting. I am fine thank you for asking” the older agent said sarcastically

“I haven’t gotten any vacation since I started here. I demand two days off”

Coulson looked up from his filed and saw how frustrated his agent looked.  
“What’s going on Natasha?” he asked concerned

“I need two days off” she repeated

Coulson knew that something was wrong but he also knew that Natasha wouldn’t tell him anything.    
“I expect to see you here in two days at 8.00 sharp” he said returning to his files “maybe then you will tell me what happened to your hand” he continued without looking at her. She had already moved to the door and as she took hold of the doorknob she spat

“Like you even care” and she left without giving him the chance to answer

 

                                                           

* * *

 

Natasha was feeling like shit.  When she left the headquarters, she made a stop to her favorite Chinese restaurant for take out and then headed home.  She ate alone and her mind drifted back to the incident at the gym. Would this have happened if Clint was there? Probably not. It wasn’t that they had more respect for him, he was damaged and different from most of the agents there, he didn’t have many friends. The thing was that Clint was a man and in their twisted logic she was more vulnerable when she was without him.  She hated him for that. She hated Clint, SHIELD and whatever it stood for. But most of all she hated herself for believing that things would be good for once on her life.  
But it wasn’t al that bad. Maria had managed to become deputy director of SHIELD in the two years that she had been there.  The other agents respected her and most of the new ones feared her. Natasha smiled at the thought of her friend and decided to check on her.  She got into SHIELD’s agent schedule -something that no one needed to know- and saw that Maria was off duty for the rest of the week.  She smiled and decided to call her. 

“Hi Maria! It’s Natasha” 

“oh! Ehm… hi Natasha, how are you?” Maria sounded distant to say the least. That wasn’t like her at all

“Good I guess… are you free this evening? I have two days off and I was wondering if you’d like to hand out…” Natasha tried although she knew, from the way that Maria was talking to her, that she would refuse

“Ummm… I would love to but… I … I can’t this evening…” Maria replied

“It’s alright, we’ll talk some other time” Natasha said quickly and hang up.    
Something was wrong with Maria. Maybe she had heard about the incident on the gym or she was with friends or even a boyfriend. Either way Natasha felt rejected and unwanted.  She looked back at her phone and saw eight new messages.  Then she remembered that with everything that happened she hadn’t replied to Clint.

“What’s up?”

“Everything ok?”

“If you are on a mission send a blank text”

“I checked with Coulson. Are you hurt?”

“What happened?”

“Are you mad at me?”

“Did I do something?”

“Mission complete. I’ll be there tomorrow. Hope you’re not hurt”

Natasha decided not to reply to his texts.  In her mind she was angry at him even though she wasn’t sure why.  She decided to forget everything and everyone and go to bed. She was being unusually sleepy and since she had nothing better to do she thought that it would be nice to give in to it.

                                                        

* * *

 

Natasha’s eyelids felt heavy as she slowly opened them.  She noticed the light coming in from the window, _didn’t she close it last night?_ She couldn’t remember. She turned on her bed and reached for her phone. 12.30. Had she really slept for sixteen hours? That was bizarre. And then she felt it. The sting in her lower abdomen. There it was again.  She knew that those days were coming but she didn’t expect them so soon.  She put her arms around her stomach and writhed as an extra painful cramp took over her.  She felt the pain reflect from her abdomen to her lower back and a few tears streamed down her face.  Hungry, sleepy and in pain, Natasha gathered her strength and got up from the warmth of her bed.  She searched for any blood stains on her sheets and when she didn’t find any, she moved to the bathroom. She looked at her ruined underwear and hoped in the shower. The warm water calmed her pain a little bit but she was feeling sleepier than before. He stomach growled but she decided to ignore it for the time being.  As she stepped out of the shower she put on a fresh pair of pants and a wrapped herself in a towel. The warmth of the water hadn’t left her yet and since it wasn’t very cold out, she decided to just slip in her bed with only her panties on. Two minutes later she was asleep again.

This time her sleep didn’t last long. She thought that someone far away was calling her name and she had to wake up. She had no idea what was a dream and what was reality so she decided to close her eyes once more. She barely heard the lock click. She immediately tensed reaching for her gun, only to relax a second later, when she recognised Clint’s footsteps. She put her gun back and buried her face in the pillow. 

“Nat! What the hell is going on?” he asked barging in and stopping dead in his trucks upon seeing Natasha’s naked back on the bed

“Tash?” he asked again, cautiously this time.

She groaned

“Wanna tell me what’s wrong?”

“Wanna go to the living room until I put a shirt on?” she asked back, her voice muffled by the pillow. He nodded his agreement and rushed out of the room. Natasha got up, put a t-shirt and a pair of shorts and went back to bed shouting his name. Clint was back in the room in a second but seeing her still in the bed made him nervous. She was never the one to sleep in, how did this happen?

“Natasha are you ok?” he asked again, sitting on the edge of the bed

“Did you talk to Coulson?” she asked lowering her head

“Yes, yes I did. He told me how you asked for two days off. You have never asked for vacation... You didn’t reply to my texts... You got me worried Tasha… ”

“Was that the only thing that he told you?”

“No. he told me how you beat the crap out of the bastard who insulted you in the gym and how no one did a fucking thing! Got I would have killed the guy!” he exclaimed clearly angry

“I don’t need you to ‘kill the guy’; I need to not have to deal with such guys! I want to go there, do my job like everyone else and leave, no one minding my business as I don’t mind anyone’s business. I need a handler who won’t give me hell about every little thing because he hates me…” _I need people to call my friends_ she thought but didn’t say. 

“Tash… ” Clint said reaching for her hand “I would kill the guy and every other bastard who insult you because I care about you and all I want is for you to mind your own business without anyone harassing you! I am not saying that you can’t do it for yourself but it really feels good when I do it!” Natasha smiled at his words and he took it as a sign to continue “Coulson doesn’t hate you. He was like that with me and he is like that with everyone. He wants all his newest agents to do everything perfect until they prove themselves to shield so that he can play proud daddy. Is that what had you all worried?” he asked. She just nodded seeing how stupid she was acting. She knew it all along but she couldn’t help it. Although Natasha couldn’t find words, her stomach chose that time to growl again. This time it was Clint’s turn to smile.

“Come on” he said “get up and I’ll go order pizza” Natasha nodded again and as he walked out of the door, she closed her eyes just for a moment

“Natasha!” Clint yelled

“What? What is it?!” she asked jumping off the bed

“I left you for 5 minutes and you are asleep again! Is everything alright?”

Natasha sighed heavily and dropped her head

“I am sleepy sometimes when I’m on my period; I can’t help it!” she exclaimed

“Ooooh! You mean that you… ooooh”

“Yes, as you so adequately put it, I am menstruating”

“Oh god! Ok do you need anything? Ehm pizza is coming, do you need pills, pad, chocolate, anything?”

“Clint, I am not going to eat you alive, relax!”

“right, you’d have to sleep with me first right?” as he proceeded to laugh at his own joke he was met with a very unimpressed Natasha “because you are the black widow… and black widows… oh come on!” when her expression didn’t change he left the room mumbling something about his jokes being wasted with her. as Natasha prepared to get out of bed she heard him shout from the living room that the pizzas are her treat. This time she laughed.

They spent the rest of the day watching movies of Natasha’s choice -she had offered to watch one that Clint likes but he denied- and if somewhere through the second movie she leaned in to him, they didn’t say anything. And if he put his arms around her and rubbed the small of her back, they didn’t say anything. And if when he tucked her in bed she asked him to stay, they didn’t say anything.  

 

The next morning they woke up back to back. When Clint used the bathroom, Natasha checked her phone and found one text

 

 

 

“Sorry about yesterday/ I was undercover/how’s tonight? -Maria”


End file.
